But oh my goodness, I don't know what's out there. Part of me does not like the pressure of it. They say " It's just a date (if I can score a date) and it's not like you're marrying this person." That's the thing you see. I just hate the pressure of will-he-like-me, will I make a oaf of myself? As you can see, I am not a well-seasoned and not a serial dater. I'm clueless. My my last sand castle of a relationship has crumbled and been washed out to sea...
Why can't I just meet (single) men without the pressure of an online dating site? Where I don't have to extract some forced pleasantness because I know I can be comfortably personable. And when I am more comfortable, my random and far between sense of humor pops up? Shoot but how? I have to brainstorm this with another friend. Hmmm...yeah , you know. I'll hold off on signing up on these online dating sites for now.
Some say dating is fun? Is it? I have a hard time in new circles let alone on an even tighter and potentially romantic circle. I take a while to warm up. At work, I have a reason to interact with people - it's part of my job. Outside of that, outside of my friends and family , I really am shy.
Which is probably why I talk to myself in here. In way it's good because, no one gets to read it. :D
The word "flirt" flies below my vocabulary radar so imagine my surprise when a customer at work said to me in a nice way, " Stop flirting with me." Thank goodness it was all on the phone so he couldn't see my surprised look but I managed to to laugh and continue on with business.
I mean, I must've flirted unknowingly. Wait, I take that back, I did flirt in the past but it was all fake flirting. I wasn't remotely attracted to them but I find amusement in these men's reactions. But it doesn't come naturally for me. Gosh I suck at this. No wonder I don't have a boyfriend hahahaha :)
Saint Rafael, the Arch Angel - can you please pray for me? Can you please pray that I find that Nice Guy.
No comments:
Post a Comment