On fat - first off, I'm not here to talk about an unhealthy lifestyle.

I've been fat since I was a toddler. The baby fat never left my body and it carried over into a roly-poly elementary schooler, overly-insecure highschooler, wanting-to-change-my-body college student and now as a you-know-I-support-great-health-at-any-size semi-adult. I say semi-adult because I still feel that I am light years away from maturity.

The blog title Lumbalumbalicious - not that original since Destiny's Child's bootylicious seem to take on a very nice adjective. Lumba-lumba is another Tagalog word for fat.

What was it like for a Filipina kid growing up in a culture where beauty pegeantry in schools and on television are quite t ypical? I actually enjoyed it as a spectator. Did it make me want to be like them as they walk up the stage? No not really.

I was harrassed though - from kids in our neighborhoods to bystanders. All I have to do is to walk past them and they would start to hold on to things (you know like there's an earthquake) and say " There's an earthquake." Get it? I'm so fat, the earth rumbles at my every step yeah ha-ha.

They thought it was funny. I wasn't laughing. Pretty soon it became just a way of life. But looking back at it now, I now know that I deserve the same respect as any other person who walked past them.

So I made this blog to somehow let the words out of my head so that it will start to heal my scabbed-up heart. Those hurtful words and behaviour -they can take a toll you. I put on a brave hard-as-iron face, but it succumbs to rust.

My life isn't so bad though. I have now learned to appreciate myself and most importantly - to love myself. From my double-chin, my keloid scar, my thick thighs,big belly to my paddle feet. Being and staying healthy at any size - wouldn't that be a paradigm shift? That will be something that I can look forward to everyday.